reentry.

Dancing under the stars always seemed magical to me.
Wandering in between the flecks of gold in your eyes entices me.
Losing myself in the warmth of your loving embrace leaves me overjoyed.
Writing you like the prince in every girl's favorite fairy tale relieves me.

But when does the magic of you and me disappear?
When do I give up on the future concept of you, me and being eternally happy?
When do I stop ignoring the pain that's been eating away at my heart from the moment you left me to plan on my own?
I love that I know your love so maybe that's enough for me to continue turning my head to the negative connotations affiliated with your presence in my life.. just maybe.

Graduation is just about 25 days away now.... College graduation.... what comes next?
No you, no more school... where will the excitement reside without the daily dramatics of how much I dislike this professor or the wondrous escapes just to taste your lips one more time... pathetic right? that that's all I can think of sometimes.. being with you though your not here with me...

Okay.. I'm rambling now.. maybe more like babbling so I'm done.

You Know

you're hardly over someone when the sound of their voice still makes you smile despite the painful memories of "goodbye" or in many cases, "see you later.

You fight the many urges to pick up the phone and call them when the slightest things make you think of them.
He may not text you the same "good morning" but he still finds away to point out the lengths of time between the last time you communicated with him and the present.
You know it's hard to come by a love so genuine like his when the thought of simply saying "I love you" to someone new feels far worse than impossible.
Today, I had a revelation. Despite my plan to move on and let go until the fates decide my future failed terribly because I spoke to him and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, beside him in my bed snuggled up close to him with our breathing synchronized, and peaceful. I wanted to feel his lips brush up against mine one more time reminding me of the confidence he encouraged me to embrace rather than let slip away. I wanted his welcoming arms wrapped all the way around me and no one else and that's when I started to cry because I know nothing would ever amount to that. No one would ever fill that void for me and that scares me....

How do you let go of the perfect true love flawed by a case of horrible timing?

...I guess you don't really have a choice.... so you just do.

A Long Time Coming

Yesterday, I would have deemed it impossible to walk away.
I would have fought to the very last breath in me for this perverted concept of you and me.
But, 21, young, professional, and wise I know there's more for me.

Don't get me wrong, our love compares to nothing on this earth I've ever experienced and for that I'm eternally grateful...
But, the long droughts, leaving me with no escape,
the pain of feeling and not describing... unbearable.
If the gods should will it for me to come find my way back to you I'll welcome it quickly, but for now, the disappointment you've etched into my memory is not something I take kindly to.

Forget about the constant promises of refuge you promised me...
And don't even mention to creativity you've taught me.
Neglect to mention the things I carry within me that are because of you.
Give me some credit for taking you outside of the world you once knew, to show you things from my Simplistic, loving view.

Poetry.... I was just finally deciding to be done with you... but you came and pulled one of your regular stunts. provoking me to explore new puns on words, and igging me to put my fingers to the keypad and write you... the way I did with consistency once before...

I guess i'll never leave you.