Today, it was determined that I am the maker of my own destiny. The master of my fate.
As summer came I lost a big part of me and I truly didn't think I would bounce back nearly as quickly as I did. Although my previous post may insinuate that I am angered and broken, today I'm taking to the books, music and power of words to fill me up with the power of positive energy.
With that being said, although there is one cloud too many floating above my skies these past few days I am truly a product of broken hearts and the illusion of love. As a result I have found what is true love and learned that when its real you may not necessarily be happy. Because with an emotion as strong as love happiness is not always concurrent and it becomes a matter of reason and logic more than love and feelings.
Our actions result in the feelings of ourselves and those around you. When others are involved it is sometimes necessary to consider the outcome and its effect on other people and not only consider your own feelings. This leads me to the understanding that the test of true love withstands time, necessity, and dreams. It surpasses possibility and becomes substantial as just the art of knowing rather than having.
True lovers have to learn to live without one another and to entrust in the forces around them that the plan includes the maze they enter when they've encountered each other. Almost rarely do two people find a love that can truly be defined as real and even more rarely do they get to share it fairly and without any extreme circumstances. The "plan" that I speak of is that of which we are all living as I am an avid believer in "everything happens for a reason," because it truly does.
So I will rise above the pain bestowed upon me by the so-called "end." Because a love as strong as this was and still is, can never truly end. It can simply be placed front and center in our memories and as a reason for existence and with it promise to be the most rewarding of feelings ever felt. And although it may never fully infiltrate your life or give you the satisfaction of physically coexisting with the emotional aspect of it the memory alone is enough to wake you up in the morning and remind you to be grateful for the blessing of having known a love a so pure.
So without you I am no longer lost or crying secretly in the darkness of my bedroom rather I am following the plan that was made for me long before I was ever aware of a great plan for my life and thanking God for placing you and your love before me when he did despite the impossibility of it moving beyond it's state of being a strong raw emotion I've never felt. I'll remain hopeful but not biased and move forward towards the future that would be ideal if it includes you but acceptable if it doesn't.
Through loving you, I've learned myself and I've learned love.
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